Feeling Frustrated

I walked out of a meeting today feeling incredibly frustrated. So much so I called my mom and complained to her (thanks, Mom). After I hung up with her, I continued to feel frustrated and angry and then disappointed. I wanted to just push passed these feelings because I knew they wouldn’t serve me in any way. But I didn’t. I let them stew in my brain and I watched them transform. I kept asking myself, what’s underneath that anger and disappointment? What are the thoughts that I’m telling myself that are causing these feelings? Guess what came up. “I’m not enough.” Ugh. I thought I had moved passed that belief. I thought I was in a stage of confidence and clarity in my life. And yet with one meeting and a few comments, I was left feeling less than. Have you ever felt like that? 

I knew that I needed to allow my stress cycle to complete itself so I went to the gym. I pedaled so hard on the bike you would’ve thought I was in a race. It felt good but I was still angry. So I decided to head to hot yoga. The instructor asked if we had any intention to set at the beginning of class. The word “forgiveness” kept coming up so I made that my intention. I really tried to focus on my breath and the poses but sometimes my thoughts would wander back to being angry and feeling unworthy. Slowly the thoughts became less and less and by the end of class, I felt much more at peace about the situation. I recognized that it’s ok to think that I’m not enough as long as I don’t allow myself to BELIEVE it. Honestly, I’m not mad or even frustrated at this point. I’m a little sad but not with myself. I know that I am enough, even when others might not think that. I don’t need external validation for my worth. And neither do you. My friend, you are absolutely enough and I hope you know that. If you don’t, let’s talk because you can believe that too. 

Dreading Mother's Day

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